YUTOPIA

Many months ago, I was passing though the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle and saw that not only was there something called "Jazz at Lincoln Center" but that Dave Brubeck and Ramsey Lewis were playing in one concert. Despite my eclectic taste in music I've never been much of a Jazz person, but even I've heard of and appreciate Dave Brubeck and Ramsey Lewis as two of the living legends of Jazz. You've probably heard of Dave Brubeck's most well-known work Take Five. I barely missed hearing Dave Brubeck a few years ago in Seattle and I jumped at the opportunity to hear him in NY.

Dave Brubeck first stepped to the microphone to make a small correction in the program. Instead of being 83 as listed, he was actually 87 and joked, "how time doesn't fly." Later he displayed some more of his humor describing how he wrote the song "London Sharps, London Flats" and dedicated it to his manager after a particularly difficult European tour:

You'll notice how my right hand goes up the keyboard on the sharps and my left one goes down on the flats.

It sounds terrible.

On purpose.

Of course it didn't sound that bad. Actually I hope I can play the piano that well when I'm 87.

Ramsey Lewis may not be as familiar, but is well known for jazz arrangements of other songs. Perhaps the most recognizable piece being a cover of Dobie Gray's "The In Crowd," but he also included a jazz cover of the Beatles' In My Life.
While Dave Brubeck's pieces played with chord structures and time signatures Ramsey Lewis' music more more rhythmic incorporating jazz, blues, gospel, and even a calypso riff.

Anyway, with everything else that's been going on this week, the timing (so to speak) couldn't have been better.

Posted by Josh at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Identifying divine providence or hashgacha, if we're being honest, is a tricky endeavor. Virtually any event can be attributed to free will just as easily as it can be to divine intervention, and I covered some of these views in one of my shiurim. Not only is our attitude towards events subjective, but even if we assume a "divine plan" it could take many years for this plan to unfold. I once gave a derasha pointing out that even Yosef Hatzaddik was relatively shortsighted in his view of hashgacha. As Yosef assuages his brother's fears he tells them, "you intended for bad, but God intended for good; to have such a day to sustain a large nation" (Bereishit 50:20). As we know the descent into Egypt plays a much larger role in the Jewish story beyond Yosef's limited perception. Furthermore, we recently read about the hidden divine role in Megillat Esther, the narrative of which which took place over the course of several years.

On the other hand, observing apparent instances of hashgacha immediately can have a profound effect on our outlook. Case in point, earlier today I had an appointment at 5:00 PM on the Upper West Side. On a normal Wednesday I would need to rush out of the downtown office, and depending on how well the 1 and 2/3 trains synch up, barely make it in time. But today, having more time on my hands than usual, I decided to head down earlier than usual and read outside on one of the benches in the middle of the pedestrian islands on Broadway. As I sat down to open the book¹ I noticed an elderly woman physically struggling with a younger person who seemed to be trying to help the older one. The exasperated younger woman explained that elder one had a history of dementia and tried to cross the street against the light to get away from her and asked for help in trying to get her to sit down on the bench.

Initially I just tried to diffuse the situation by talking to the elder woman, and eventually did get her to sit down though she was still very distraught. But as I was sorting out things with her aide, she said three very familiar words: "ata medaber ivrit?" As it turns out she was Israeli, initially from Tel Aviv, and a whole lot more lucid when conversing in Hebrew. Without getting into the details I spoke to her in Hebrew, calmed her down, and despite her claims of being completely fine, convinced her to go with the medics to Mt. Sinai hospital.²

While I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn't been there, I do realize that had I not been laid off I wouldn't have been there to help both her and her aide.

And the great thing is that this story of hashgacha is just beginning.

1. In an amusing irony, the book I was reading was The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable.
2. She wanted me to come with her, and I might have if I didn't have the appointment (which I made with one minute to spare...again).

Posted by Josh at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Dear Loyal Readers,
It's been a while since I've done a personal post, mostly because there hasn't been much going on worth reporting. Then again I suppose you could say I haven't blogged regularly (even by my standards) since I changed jobs in accordance with their internet policies. At any rate this last part is now moot since my position at JPMC no longer exists, i.e. eliminated, downsized, or whatever term is in fashion these days.

While the result is similar to being fired, my current circumstances are really not as severe all things considered other than looking for another job. It was a good run at JPMC - I may be applying to other positions there - and I'm looking forward to resetting priorities and approaching the next challenges and opportunities.

In the meantime, I'm brushing up computer and Rabbinic resumes and hope to use the time productively. Of course any leads would be greatly appreciated...

Posted by Josh at 5:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

YU's Commentator reports that Revel dean Dr. Arthur Hyman will be stepping down from his administrative post, but will continue teaching courses in Jewish Philosophy. To some students, Dean Hyman gave the impression of a grandfatherly adviser, one of Yeshiva University's many eccentric characters. This perception and the Commentator's relatively light coverage¹ neglect Dean Hyman's contributions and tireless efforts to improve Revel's academic reputation.

Continue reading "A Farewell To Dean Hyman" »

Posted by Josh at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Since turning 30 last August I've been a little more aware of my age, making the occasional self-deprecating grizzled remarks about the old days. Age is especially noticeable in the increasingly youthful Washington Heights community where the shul is even running a single's event specifically for people ages 22-29.

All this I can deal with, but then I get the following in the mail:

On the plus side I guess this means I can cash out on social security earlier and join one of the most powerful lobbying groups in the country.

Now get off my lawn.

*waves stick*

Posted by Josh at 2:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Like most people, there are some experiences in life I usually try to avoid. Most of the time it's part of an aversion to some sort of discomfort, usually phusical or psychological. Then there are those aversions which are completely irrational and get their own category:

I call one of them, "Brooklyn."

I can't really explain why I get so unnerved in Brooklyn. It could be the multi-million dollar mansions situated in anotherwise aesthetically depressed area, or the overwhelming particular Jewisness of the area one that can only be circularly defined as "Brooklyn."

Still, all fears must be confronted at some point so yesterday I joined my mother and grandparents on a little errand running excursion to Coney and J. The thinking was that while the rest of New York would be shut down - I can't remember crusing down the West Side Highway that quickly in midday - Brooklyn would be running along as usual. I didn't break out into hives or start convulsing, but there were definately some notable Brooklyn highlights:

• I was in Eichlers and overheard a father and mother (different families) with respective children recently engaged (not to each other) were comparing notes on wedding preperations (ketuvah, "backup tenaim," etc). In the course of their conversation, the woman complimented the man's tie. In the spirit of holiday, the man replied, "You like the tie? It's yours. I can get these for $5." and proceeded to take off his tie, puts it on the counter, and gives it to the dumbfounded woman.
• Waiting for my mother and grandmother in one of the Brooklyn dress shops, I noticed that the background music was not only sung by female, but the song was "White Christmas." I can excuse the vocalist because the only men who would enter the store would presumably already be beyond saving. But regarding the song choice, perhaps they consider it Jewish Music after all.
• Someone behind the counter of a pizza shop called over a teenager and asked him if he was new in town. The teen said yes and asked how he knew. The man said it was because he noticed that every time the teen got up from a table someone else came and took it, adding with a smile, "you've got to be more careful around here - don't be so trusting."
• And finally there was this priceless exchange at the same pizza store with an obviously appreciative customer:

  "God bless Christmas"
  "Yeah, only a Yid could pull this off."

You know, I may need to take Brooklyn off the list.

Maybe just for Christmas anyway.

Posted by Josh at 6:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

One of the things we talked about in the Devar Torah Workshop is that no matter how well you organize your thoughts and how well you deliver your message, there may be people who just won't get it. They may be distracted, bored, or - let's be diplomatic here - lacking the ability to comprehend.

Then of course there are those who fall into their own unique category. For one surreal example, this past Shabbat I delivered emergency fill-in devar torah for seudah shlishit, after which I was blamed for the Holocaust.

I suppose some background is in order. For various reasons due to Thanksgiving no one was slated to speak during seudah shelishit. At some point during shaharit I reminded myself that I spoke last year and figured out a way to tweak the old message and even have it tie in to Thanksgiving. Granted, it was not one of my best efforts, but I thought at least it was passable.¹

When I went to sit down down, and older gentleman and prominent figure in the shul come over with the obligatory "yasher koach" and asked if I attended the shul's annual Kristalnacht event. I hadn't. The gentleman then ranted that no young people came because we have no interest and don't care about the Holocaust, and had we cared more back then we could have prevented it.

For the moment, let us ignore the specific implication that our current apathy towards shul events precipitated the most horrific genocide in our people's history. Rather, I simply intended to demonstrate that as admirable of a goal it is for a speaker to connect with the audience, there are times when you should just let it go.

1. Hopefully I will get a chance to write it up at some point.

Posted by Josh at 10:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This Sunday I will be starting a new Devar Torah Workshop at Mt. Sinai (187th and Bennett) focusing on organizing and presenting written and spoken Divrei Torah. We will meet Sundays at 10:30 AM in the Multi Purpose Room downstairs, and it is open to men and women. While the workshop is free, anyone interested should register by sending me an e-mail.

I'll likely blog the core principles at some point, but there's no substitute for practicing in a supportive environment.

Posted by Josh at 1:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A few weeks back I bought a generic pair of scissors from a downtown Duane Reade. Of the many ways in which a pair of scissors could be packaged, these in particular were attached to a cardboard backing with a metal washer fastening a loop around one of the handles. Thus after tearing off the backing, the loop was still firmly attached like so:

Now if only I had some utensil, device, or mechanism which could sever this superfluous and intrusive connection.

Oh wait....

Posted by Josh at 2:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A few odds and ends today from non-work life:

• Last night I posted my Rosh Hashana derasha which was a fun challenge to write and deliver. R. Schnaidman gave me a time range of 30-35 minutes which is normally beyond how long I can talk, so for the first time in many years I had written out most of it beforehand and spoke both from the sheets and extemporaneously. Feedback was positive, though one person asked if it was intentional that I didn't cite any Zohar or Ba'al Shem Tov.
  
  I said yes, and politely explained that I was following my mesorah. After all, it was Rosh Hashana...



• As certain individuals know, we had some now resolved issues with my landlord. Apparently, lots of other people had worse experiences: there's a class action suit against them.



• I know this is late for Rosh Hashana, but this song seems relevant (music starts at 2:18) even if it doesn't count as an official zemer.



• Speaking of simmanim, the line between what is an innocuous simman and outright avoda zara is somewhat complicated. I gave a shiur on it some time ago, and based on far too many conflicting sources, couldn't reach a definitive conclusion. I did conjecture that the degree of seriousness which one takes these simmanim is likely proportional to the potential issur, with the litmus test being how one one would feel if the simman wouldn't be performed. For example, R. Tendler once told us that a woman came to him Erev Yom Kippur looking for a chicken to do kapparot because if she didn't, she would die that year. That, he said, was avoda zara.
  
  Regarding the simmanim of Rosh Hashana, I'm beginning to think that most are fine given that most are simply puns - some even bilingual puns. In other words, they seem more for entertainment purposes rather than a magical act. For another R. Tendler example, I first heard from him the one "lettuce, half a raisin, celery" = let us have a raise in salary.
  
  If you still take these seriously, then in addition to avoda zara problems, you likely have no sense of humor - which could pose problems when people start calling you an idol worshiper.



• In what should some as no surprise, I don't do kapparot following Shulhan Aruch's admonition that it's darkhei emori. I also have never been a fan of tashlich especially since a former Hindu co-worker once asked me, "what was that thing where you pray to the river."
  
  However, for efficiency's sake I suggest that next year we could work on combining the two practices during the asseret yemei teshuva by simply flinging chickens into the water - perhaps even feeding them bread first. I'm sure God would really appreciate that much more than doing them separately as it would double the mehillah power.



• And on a more serious note, through a great set of hashgachic circumstances (and the ubiquitous chords directory I will soon be teaching an Introduction to Jewish Guitar. Even with some nervousness, I'm really looking forward to the entire experience which I hope to recount afterwards.

If I don't post before Yom Kippur, Gemar Tov to all. Looking back at what I last year I don't think I can even hope for less erratic blogging given my new work schedule. Despite the infrequent or sporadic posting, we still had an eventful year with preliminary thoughts and detailed rebuttal of the Conservative Teshuva on Homosexuality and the aftermath, a conflict and conversation in Washington Heights, the RCA's gerut policies, and of course, the Negiah.org fiasco. However, I can and still will ask forgiveness if I have inadvertently or unnecessarily offended people through carelessness or laziness. Although I do stand by what I write I freely admit everything could use more editing, not just for typos, but for tone or imprecise syntax.

Naturally I have no idea what the next year will bring, but I do hope to at least maintain the status quo of quality (if not quantity). Thanks again for reading, commenting, and reminding me why I'm still at this nearly five years later.¹

Shana Tova,
Josh

Update: I will be sans computer for a few days while it's being repaired, and as such may be slower in responding to e-mails or the like.

1. Yep, it's been that long; the forthcoming retrospective should be fun.

Posted by Josh at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

This Shabbat I will be speaking once again at Kehilat Rayim Ahuvim on the Upper West Side. The topic will be "The Seven Stages of Consolation" - the first of which I covered regarding Nachamu but will be expanding the theme through more of the shiva dinehemta. True, it's not quite as irreverent as "Existential Teshuva And The Incredible Hulk," but it should be no less interesting.

Davening times permitting, it's called for 11:15 AM at 241 West 72nd Street, 2nd Floor.

Posted by Josh at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Like most New Yorkers, I've had what could best be described as The Commute From Hell. Thanks to a tornado assisted torrential rain it took me about 5 hours to get from 184th and Bennett to 4 New York Plaza. Normally this is a simple matter of taking the A-Train to Broadway Nassau/Fulton and then the 4/5 to Bowling Green and it takes about 45-50 minutes.

Today's commute reads more like like one of Billy's adventures in
Family Circus:

1. A-Train from 181st stop gets stuck underground for 30-45 minutes, finally reaching 145.
2. I head topside at 145 to see how the buses are running. After some waiting there I head back down into the subway where the train from which I had disembarked is still parked.
3. A-Train goes local until 110 or so. I get fed up and walk a few avenues to the 1 line
4. The 1 not faring much better, I walk to 96th street to hedge bets with the 2/3.
5. Turns out that line is messed up too, so I take a crosstown bus to try the east side.
6. Pick up the 6 at 96th and Lex.
7. Due to the flooding at 59th street, the 6 stops at 68th street prompting a transfer to the N line.
8. From the N I transfer one more time to pick up the R.
9. R goes to Whitehall Station which is a block or so from the office

Keeping in mind that all this included numerous delays, slow running trains, packed corners, and hot muggy weather. Total time: just under 5 hours.

Still a few good things came out of it. For one, between both commutes I started and finished Aldous Huxley's dystopian tale A Brave New World. And keeping a positive attitude during this trek, I did get to meet a whole slew of interesting people whom I'd otherwise have ignored from bankers, lawyers, to a Hofstra PhD student. As a whole people seemed exasperated, but some in better spirits than others. But while I was imagining a transit strike under Bloomber's theoretical congestion pricing scheme, I was also privy to some of my fellow commuters erudite discourses of civil engineering and political theory, featuring such profundities as "these guys are all morons" and "this is f---ing bulls---t" (an apparent consensus).

O brave new world that has such people in it, indeed.

Posted by Josh at 10:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

There's something about round numbers that affects people as if the presence of a 0 in the one's place necessitates additional introspection. To some degree there is a practical element since we tend to count in base 10 so every 10 units serves as a useful metric for evaluation. But in the context of age, our culture attributes certain societal values and expectations to the decades of your life be it 20's, 30's, 40's, etc. such that the turnover can be viewed as an actual benchmark on one's life. Of these markers, the change from the 20's to 30's is perhaps the most significant transition, representing an absolute break from the immaturity of youth to the responsibilities of adulthood.

"Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." - C.S. Lewis

Depending on one's personality, this can be particularly depressing. For one it's likely that no matter who we are we know someone whom we would consider to be "better off" than we are at the same stage, or worse, life may not have met the expectations formulated in our youth. In either case, there can be a sense of lost vitality, opportunity, and idealism. Who we are at thirty is likely who we'll remain, thus sentencing us to continue our lives as it is - for better, worse, or redundant.

"Life is islands of ecstasy in an ocean of ennui, and after the age of thirty land is seldom seen" - Luke Rhineheart

"The conceptions acquired before thirty remain usually the only ones we ever gain."
- William James

"It is well for the world that in most of us, by the age of thirty, the character has been set like plaster, and will never soften again." - William James

The boy gathers materials for a temple, and then when he is thirty, concludes to build a woodshed. - Henry David Thoreau

"A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child." - H.L. Menckin

However, not everyone is content to go gently into that good afternoon. As Julie Lynem writes:

No one has all of the answers or reaches every goal. The important thing is to keep striving toward one.

So you're not where you thought you would be at 25, 35, 55 or 65? Everyone's life plan deviates off course at some point. What matters is that we make the most of the journey.

Now that I've turned 30, I'm no longer afraid of what's in store. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow.

And indeed some have embraced thirtydom tempering youthful spirit with the maturity from experience. R. Boruch Leff offers more practical compromise:

Indeed, the Talmud (Pirkei Avot 5:26) [sic]¹ declares: "At age 30, one receives strength." This is the strength of character needed to pursue life's goals. The 20s process of trial and error leads to a more secure decade of the 30s, when a person is focused on true talents, pursuable goals, and genuine accomplishments.

The old cliche is true: A jack-of-all-trades is a master of none. The 20s are the training ground to become a jack-of-all-trades. The 30s is the time to focus and master those talents that can be applied in practical directions.

Of these comments I find R. Leff's comments resonate the most. For the past several years I've been mostly involved in three different worlds: computers, Rabbinate, and academia - with significant subdivisions therein. For each field of which I have been a part I see friends who have chosen and stuck with one career path and often find them successful. Classmates who took tech jobs straight out of college have built up nice nest eggs and moved up the latter to positions of management. Some friends who went the Rabbinic route are established in their own shtellers, and others who did PhD programs are published, delivered papers at conferences, and are either finished with their programs or finishing shortly. Professional development aside, most friends of mine are married, and/or have children, or are otherwise "further along" in their lives and goals.

On the other hand, I'm reminded that life is not about accomplishments as much as it is about living. To quote Vincent Van Gogh:

"I do not intend to spare myself, not to avoid emotions or difficulties. I don't care much whether I live a longer or shorter time. The world concerns me only in so far as I feel a certain debt toward it, because I have walked on this earth for thirty."

Of course, Van Gogh later shot himself at thirty seven, but that's not really the point. Turning thirty I do look back on my life thus far and where I currently am and I've realized that despite all the roadblocks and downturns I have been extremely fortunate in many areas of my life. Being a "jack-of-all-trades" has also allowed me to encounter some truly wonderful people. And by being exposed to so many different environments I can approach the world with a particularly unique perspective.

For some people turning thirty represents a psychological change, and for others being thirty is no different than being 29 and 364 days old. I don't think for me there has been any immediate change, but I'm must more aware of how I've developed personally and emotionally in the past 10 years. And while I would still to be satisfied in a more stable situation, I hope that I will be able to be as open to possibilities and have faith when doesn't go as expected.

To everyone who has been part of the first thirty years of my journey I thank you. And to everyone whom I have not yet encountered, I am looking forward.

Until the next round number...

1. Actually M. Avot 5:21

Posted by Josh at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

In my quest for good local hikes around Manhattan, I asked resident expert and new hatan Max Davis for some ideas. Max suggested I check out a wildlife refuge on an island off of the A-Train. As a longtime rider of the A-Train, I was skeptical about the existence of such an environmental oasis in New York but sure enough waaay down the line - the stop past JFK Airport - is the small town of Broad Channel home of the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge.

With the few days off I have at my disposal I thought the Fourth of July would be a perfect time to go exploring. So what does a "Wildlife Refuge" look like NYC style? Pretty much everything you'd expect.

(Pics in the post below)

Continue reading "Fourth of July in Jamaica (Bay)" »

Posted by Josh at 2:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

In the past week I had two peculiar discoveries:

1. Someone made a Wikipedia page dedicated to the Yuter Family
2. It will likely be deleted.

So much for our fleeing chance at Wikimmortality. Wherefore the purge?

The article does not assert the significance of the Yuter family, but acts as a genealogical article; Wikipedia is not a genealogical database. If there are multiple people notable enough to have articles on Wikipedia with the surname Yuter, then this should act as a disambiguation page. A quick Google search (Google should not be used in articles as Google links are not considered appropriate for an encyclopedia), however, yields little.

Given that I'm currently in the lead for google searches it's hard not to take it personally that I am the "little" which is yielded. Maybe I need to get involved in some sort of scandal to bump up my Q rating. Heck, I didn't even make the cut for my own family's Wikipedia page!

Sigh.

Anyway, the page's history shows that it was written by someone with the screen name "Yuter"1 who also administers the website Yuter.org, which according to a whois search is owned by Crescent Square Apartments of Herndon VA.

The sad part is this sort of absurdity is oddly typical for my family.2

Fortunately, the great Yuter tradition has been preserved by my great-aunt Elinor who happens to be a genealogist. In lieu of the fleeting Wikipedia page, anyone who *really* wants to read up on my family lineage can pick up a copy of her book The Yuter Family: Our Common Ancestor.

Because after all, isn't there a little Yuter in all of us?

1. For the record, my Wikipedia login is JYuter.
2. As entertaining as a "Classic Yuter Stories" blog theme would be, I'd never be able to get away with it. Plus it would take way too many entries just to cover my immediate family.

Posted by Josh at 6:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I'm officially back from a much needed few weeks off while I was literally between jobs. Since leaving Information Builders I've had the opportunity to do some traveling and reconnect with several old friends. Without getting into the details right now, it was a physically, emotionally, and spiritually rejuvenating experience. That and with a newly upgraded "business casual" wardrobe I'm pretty much set to start the new job tomorrow.

Given JPMorgan's internet policies (and thanks to the Sarbanes-Oxley Act) I will be less accessible during business hours. This means no IM during the day and it will take me longer to read and respond to your e-mails.1 On the other hand it could be very beneficial for myself personally not to have the same outside distractions.

The blog will continue to be active - at least relatively so - and based on how I'm feeling right now I'm actually curious to see how it will develop over the next few months.

Let's get started, shall we....

1. For all you who said I couldn't be slower....

Posted by Josh at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am officially "between jobs" since this past Wednesday was my last day of work at Information Builders.

Way back in 1998 I was a junior in college and looking for a summer internship. I stopped by Yeshiva University's placement office to browse through their Big Book of Jobs. I sent out my resume to all reasonable places for jobs in web design and programming.1 I sent out about 20 or so resumes, and the first callback I got was from a place I haven't heard of called "Information Builders." I remember the sensaiton of exhilieration at the interview. In fact I was unsually confident because the way they put it I shuold come in to see if I wanted the job.2 When I got back to my dorm room after the interview, I had a message on my machine with the head of the department apologizing that they forgot to formally offer me the job and asked if I was interested. Naturally I accepted mostly because it was the first thing that came along.

Since then I had been working at Information Builders off and on through smikha in what turned out to be a very mutual benificial relationship; they were happy to have me and I was happy to come back.

I'm not sure how other companies work, but in Information Builders so much depends on your department. Mine happened to have been generally relaxed with several talented people. Given the relatively small turnover, most of the department has been there since before I started initially.

The point is that even though it was necessary to move on, it still wasn't easy.

So as a parting give to the company (in addition to the Krispy Kreme doughnuts to the department) here's a farewell hakarat hatov gogglebomb for the industry leader in business intelligence and enterprise reporting.

1. Keep in mind that in 1998 web design was not terribly sophisticated and neither were the design tools: either you knew how to code HTML or you didn't have a web page.
2. Also remember that in the time of the internet boom the job market was in favor of the techies.

Posted by Josh at 7:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Loyal Readers,
Some of you may remember my attending an O.A.R. concert at MSG last year. This Saturday night at 8:00 O.A.R is once again playing MSG, but this time I have *two* tickets since I thought it would probably be more fun to go with someone else this time around.

So here's the deal: I'm looking for someone to come with me and occupy Section 2 Row R Seat 3 or 4. Ideally, someone who is be easygoing, genuinely cool1, and appreciate O.A.R. or at least that type of music.2 Not knowing the legal ramifications, I'm hesitant to announce this as an official contest but anyone interested should either leave a comment or e-mail - proxies on behalf of others are accepted as well - and I'll select a "non-winner" later in the week.

1. To provide much needed balance
2. Folk/Rock/Indie/Reggae. Or you can go to their website for samples.

Posted by Josh at 8:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

One of the many frustrating things about blogging is that when life gets in the way of blogging there's usually way too much stuff up on which to catch when everything finally calms down. In fact due to the recent convergence of events, lack of sleep, stress, and change in temperature, I was sick for a few days and unable to speak normally. Thankfully I'm fine now, but it was not a pleasant experience.

The big news is that I recently gave notice at Information Builders - a company with which I have had a relationship since a summer internship way back in 1998. Given my history with the company, this was not an easy decision to make. Information Builders, and specifically my department has been very gracious and supportive over the years and I am grateful to have been able to work with a fantastic and talented group of professionals.

After some time off I will be starting a new position at JPMorgan Chase where brother-in-law Avi started out not long after their merger with Chemical Bank.

In other news...

• For the next few weeks I will be filling in for R. Bloch at the Bridge Shul, including the Tu Bishvat Luncheon. Details to follow.
• Roommate Yonah first introduced me to the Martin Luther King commemoration at HIR. If you ever have the chance, I highly recommend you go one year for a really amazing experience - if not socially and spiritually than at least musically.1 Regardless, I find it reassuring to know that there is at least one shul which attempts to capture the spirit of unity promoted by Dr. King.

I think there's more, but that's all for now.

1. Carlebach done by a gospel choir is something to behold. Although from the comments made, it seems that not only is there a CD in the works with Neshama and the Green Pastures choir, but also that Neshama is a shrewd businesswoman.

Posted by Josh at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Loyal readers of the blog may have picked up on my interests in shtick and music, so it not come as a surprised to know that I would enjoy some of Peter Schickele's work on P.D.Q. Bach.1 Last night I was fortunate to have attended my first P.D.Q. Bach Concert at Lincoln Center.

The best way to describe the experience would be to combine the music of classical composers, the irreverence of Frank Zappa, and the audience of Rocky Horror (though thankfully, without the drag). I'm not sure how else to explain the surreal and seamless synthesis of balloons, bicycles, basketballs, power outages, the hokey pokey, and a bagpipe vibrato.

If you find this sort of thing appealing or happen to be completely drunk, then check out come clips and the upcoming concert schedule.2

1. Many thanks to Ben Resnick for the introduction.
2. Though I doubt I can attend, I'm loving the fact that the April Fool's concert will be held in a place called Fredonia.

Posted by Josh at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I was at a wedding in Brooklyn last night which was an eclectic mix of hassidish, yeshivish, and bucharian sephardi. Some interesting tidbits which get their own bullet points:

• I counted at least four different dialects of Hebrew spoken under the huppa.
• It's apparently not frum to order a "Sex on the Beach" in Brooklyn. Instead you have to ask, more appropriately, for an S.O.B.
• Incidentally, there were at least 3 gallons of vodka.
• The band was split between Ashkenazi and Sephardi musicians for a very interesting mix of musical styles.
• On that note, the hatan walked down to Stairway To Heaven, and I'm debating whether or not it merits being listed as a Weird Wedding Song. On one hand, a resonable interpretation of the lyrics might warrant its inclusion. On the other hand, Robert Plant, who has come to hate the song, refers to "Stairway" as a "bloody wedding song." For now I'm putting it in with a footnote.

• I can understand people not being familiar with P.D.Q. Bach, but it doesn't seem right that I need to compare him to Weird Al or Shlock Rock. If you're interested, he's playing at Avery Fischer Hall January 3rd.
• Prime Grill just opened a new store in Beverly Hills. I'm guessing business has been going well enough to justify the investment. Plus I give them credit for steadilly improving their health code records up to their most recent perfect inspection. Well done, indeed.
• On the flip side, Circa Meat just closed last week.
• There was some positive feedback from the devar torah, but I inadvertently telegraphed the Rabbi's derasha. I went to hashkama and missed what was said exactly, but it was supposedly amusing. (It happened last time I wrote as well, but then at least it was Parashat Shelach where it's hard to avoid talking about the meraglim). In any event, I'll be speaking this week at seudah shelisit and I'll have a backup drash just in case.

Posted by Josh at 12:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to everyone's concern about the new nibling. Avi just e-mailed that everyone is home, and since the bris can be bizmano, he has 48 hours to prepare. Fortunately, my mother is en route to help out.

Of course most importantly, the most recent picture fresh off the family e-mail list:

UPDATE: We have a name! From Avi:

His name is Netanel Moshe. Netanel was a name we liked. Moshe was name after one of Esther's Grandma's relative (Muni Distenfeld -- we decided that Muni was Moshe, but there isn't any way of really ever knowing). He is very cute and awake right now :)

Incidentally, if Muni does mean something else it's too late now.

Posted by Josh at 2:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

One of the local Shop-Rites in NJ was giving out free Jewish calendars. Through a series of amusing connections, a relative of the Niblings from the other side thought that the picture for November looked familiar. Sure enough, it was Eli (right) and Shelomoh (left). Though I can personally attest that they would *never* say anything so insipid as the caption.

Posted by Josh at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Just got called this morning that Esther gave birth to Nibling #4 (boy number 3) about one month earlier than expected. No details or pics just yet, but Mazal Tov to the Rosenfeld's, Yuter's, extended families, and anyone else who wants while we're at it.

Update From Avi:

Esther is doing basically ok, but the surgery (c-section) will take a few weeks to fully heal. The baby has a condition called TTN (see http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/medical/lungs/ttn.html for details) which sounds bad, and the baby looks a little blue in the hands and feet, but they say will be ok (so does the website). Anyway, if you can say a mishbayrach, I'd be appreciative.

Posted by Josh at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night my cell phone decided to shuffle off this mortal coil frequency. My options are as follows:

1. Keep my much better than average deal with Sprint and spend $200-$300 to replace the phone.
2. Cancel my Sprint contract with no penalty and sign up for another service, most likely T-Mobile (best rates on a GSM network).

Keep in mind that with me being me I have no idea where I'm going to be in the near to far future.

Any thoughts?

UPDATE: Moot point - I'd have to pay the $150 cancellation fee because the grace period ended yesterday. *sigh* At least I'm certain I will not be renewing with Sprint when the current contract is up.

Posted by Josh at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Loyal Readers,
I'd like to wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy new year. I would also like to ask mehilla for anyone I may have hurt over the course of the year.

I know I haven't written much about my personal life as of late, partially because I'm not at liberty to do so for many things and partially because I just haven't had the time. The short version is that things are fine, status-quo is holding in most cases and improving in others. As always, I hope to get back to blogging a little less erratically than I have been, but real life must always take precedence of the the virtual one.

I'll be in HIR for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, and I'd love to meet any readers who happen to be around then. Otherwise, I hope everyone has a holiday season which is meaningful to them, however it may be.

Shana Tovah,
Josh

Posted by Josh at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Like most of the country today, I've been thinking about 9/11. Granted given the current geo-political situation, it's difficult *not* to think about 9/11 since there is always something in the news reminding us. For New Yorkers, the experience is understandably much more personal. It wasn't just your country that was attacked, but your home. The familiar iconic towers vanished, as well as the lives of many friends and loved ones. Personally, despite my extended connection with New York City, I've always had a somewhat detached perspective towards 9/11, mostly because I wasn't around at the time.

I remember being in afternoon seder in Gruss learning hilchot shehita when someone came in with the news he read off the internet. Knowing this person's jocular nature and the implausibility of the report we didn't take him seriously at first. Eventually we went in to double check, and were shocked at the images and video. Our lagging single dial-up connection combined with the worldwide demands on the Internet throttled any incoming information. Phones were down for hours so we couldn't even make direct connections with people. Understandably, confusion was rampant as were the feelings of uncertainty and helplessness.

Still, while we felt these emotions, we weren't impacted directly. We worried and prayed, but our day was still basically uninterrupted; there was even a bris in Gruss the following day. Then of course, the religious hyperbole started coming in. It only took a few days until I started hearing quotes from kabbalists claiming how this would usher in the war of Gog and Magog or other signs of the impending apocalypse. Having not been so directly affected, 9/11 almost immediately became mythic; it wasn't so much a terrorist attack but a watershed event in hummanity.

Returning to New York, I felt like a ghost. There was the aura of tragedy and meaning, a collective experience with which I could never fully empathize. Gradually people moved on, but as those who pass Ground Zero today will notice, the holes are still there.

I think it's obvious that people are still dealing with the tragedy and are in their own stages of grief. Some have accepted and moved on, others are still in denial. For me 9/11 is somewhere in the middle of feeling the raw emotions yet always remaining distant. It is both personal and abstract simultaneously. But while there is a feeling that I will never be able to share with my fellow New Yorkers, I hope that I will never have the opportunity to share such an experience in the future.

Posted by Josh at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Just in case you don't have your Shabbat plans finalized, I'm going to be speaking this week at Rayim Ahuvim on the Upper West Side (72nd Street) on the topic "Existential Teshuva and The Incredible Hulk."

It's a little more philosophical than my usual comfort zone, but I'm planning on having some fun with it, and I hope if you come you will too.

Posted by Josh at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Years ago at the Shabbat table my sister and I used to tease my father's "selective" memory with the old joke "the memory is the second thing to go." What made this funny was not the joke itself, but the number of times we were able to successfully elicit the appropriate response of "what's the first?" Our amusement increased exponentially each time.

Sadly, it seems that I've inherited the selective memory gene, or at least as it pertains to my dating life. I first noticed this on a flight to Israel for last pesach. Trying to be friendly, I introduced myself to the person sitting across the aisle only to be reminded (very gracefully I might add) that we went out once about a year and a half earlier. Only after a good 5 minutes of solid thought was I able to recall the date. During that stay in Israel, a friend referenced the fact that I went out with someone with whom she was indirectly connected. This time it took a few days to make the connection and remember that I did in fact go out with that person. A few weeks later I participated in a Hospitality Shabbat in Washington Heights. It turns out I had gone out once with the wife of the hosting couple, but I had no idea who she was until I noticed her maiden name on her diploma.

My memory is generally flaky regarding people. Sometimes I remember a name, other times I can only remember where we met, and often I just remember that I know the other person and can go on naturally. Or I can forget someone's name but recall some peculiar detail about the person. While I suppose it's normal to forget people from time to time it does bother me when I cannot reciprocate even basic recognition. It's especially troubling when I've met this person in the context of a date in which the entire purpose is ostensibly to actually get to know the other person.

I don't think it's a matter of cognitive dissonance so much as that most dates were, to put it bluntly, wholly forgettable. If a date goes horribly then we have comical stories to tell our friends. While I have my share of those, the majority of dates haven't been good or bad, they just sort of...were.

I freely admit that it often has to do with my attitude. Given the number od disappointments and inappropriate matches, I can't really get excited enough to put in the time, money or emotional energy to do something special. But even as dates should just be "getting to know someone," conversations are generally safe and bland and this too is largely due to personal or ideological incompatibilities (I've even had to adopt the policy of avoiding talking Torah on dates). Regardless of the reasons, the results are the same. What should ostensibly be a pleasant outing usually becomes what I tend to call a "Date By Numbers."

Mind you this doesn't apply to everyone. Despite the frustrations, the dating process has also introduced me to some incredible and special people, some of whom have become close friends. The point is that some dates have become so perfunctory and meaningless to the point where people are interchangeable. Even adopting a more selective approach in accepting matches has not reduced the number of pointless excursions.

I'm not going to reduce this to yet another gripe session on Jewish Dating or about how this is just part of a process etc. (Remember, I moderate the comments). Perhaps it's just natural or inevitable to forget people who haven't had a lasting personal impact, sort of like most grade school classmates. Even putting in more effort in the date won't help if the other person is disinterested in reciprocating and you'd likely never see each other again.

Then again on the plus side, it does make the memorable encounters all the more valuable. And who knows, maybe one of those will be special enough that it won't be one to let go.

Now that would be a first worth remembering.

Posted by Josh at 2:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

As of this afternoon and in accordance with New York City regulations, I can now legally officiate weddings in the city of New York. While anyone could be a mesader kiddushin, clergy need to register with the city in order to sign the marraige licence.1

While I'm not planning on officiating any weddings in the near future, you never know when it could come in handy. A few years ago I was Shabbat walking through Fort Tryon Park and I was approached by a Hispanic contingient asking me if I was a Justice of the Peace. Apparently their minister was late and who else goes walking through the park on a Saturday in a suit. Sadly I was not able to perform the ceremony - I was still in smikha at the time - but it did get me thinking that I could otherwise be in a position to help out some people. The rabbinic prohibition against getting married on Shabbat would be inapplicable (B. Shabbat 148b) and I doubt that it would violate existing RCA policy (not that I'm currently a member).

At any rate, if you're planning on getting married in NYC and need the marriage licence signed, you know where to find me. Words of Wisdom at no extra charge.

1. This is only for weddings performed in the city of New York proper, and I do not believe it is necessary for the rest of the state. I know that in New Jersey all that is require is an address. A few years ago there was an issue where a Conservative cantor was found to be a fraud and the state government needed to pass an emergency legislation to retroactively validate those weddings.

Posted by Josh at 10:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Until last night, I never cared about my bedroom's doorknob. Or to be more specific, until last night I never really paid much attention to the lock which is inside of it.

For reasons still unclear, I somehow managed to lock myself out of my bedroom last night. Adding to the degree of difficulty, in said bedroom were my phone and computer cutting off communication, as well as my shoes and keys making it harder to go out and actually get help. And all this comes after a day of fasting in scorching hot weather. I figure if you have to get yourself in a pickle, you might as well go for the whole barrel.

But you know what they say, God never closes a door without supplying an opportunistic locksmith. The local guy used the "credit card" method with a piece of sandpaper to get around the edge. After the whole minute it took him to get in and literally paying for my stupidity, all is well and back to normal - except for a pair of socks which really need replacing.

The thing is, for the first time in ages I had quiet time to just be with myself. With no computer/internet (*gasp*) or cell phone for distraction, I was forced to just be, free to read and meditate without outside interference. While this could in theory happen on Shabbat, I'm usually run-down by that point in the week or coming back form a really late ending meal. Even during quieter moments during the week, I invariably get lost in the myriad of diversions such that even if I had the opportunity for peaceful reflection there is always something getting in the way.

Thanks to this forced respite from the world I was able to catch up on some books, some learning, and more importantly, myself. I thought about the past year with all the challenges and changes of the past year. I thought about developing different perspectives and attitudes and how at some point I'd really like to blog about faith. I thought about all the new people I've met and also being able to reconnect with some others with whom I've lost touch. I thought about the future, possibilities, opportunities, and contingencies.

It also occurred to me that I really haven't done this sort of thing in quite some time. I know I haven't blogged much about my personal life in the past year, for which there have been good reasons, but still missing the outlet to express what I could.

On that note, I'd like to thank everyone for "being there" in some way shape or form, and for all the birthday wishes,1 and I recommend that everyone go through some form of technological detox at one point or another.

Oh, and always keep your keys with you.

1. I'm not just surprised at the number of people who remembered, but who, especially when I can barely keep people's names straight.

Posted by Josh at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For those planning on being in Washington Heights for Shavuot, I'll be speaking in Mt. Sinai on Shabbat between Minha and Maariv on the topic of "Segulot, Simmanim, and Superstition in Mahshevet Hazal." As you might expect, the subject does not lend itself to a comprehensive treatement in a 1 hour shiur so I will be covering some of the halakhic and hashkafic sugyot identifying ambiguities and contradictions.

Depending on how it goes I may write it up afterwards, otherwise I can post the mekorot if there is interest.

UPDATE:I'll also be at the Bridge Shul at around 1:00 AM.

Posted by Josh at 9:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Right before the Pesach trip to Israel, I picked up the Canon Powershot A700. Fortunately, while I was there I was able to experiment with the "Foliage" setting (and the 6x zoom) to see what it could do. If you're interested in getting a digital camera, you may find these samples useful.

The following pictures are some of my favorites taken from the Rose Garden in Jerusalem and from my sister's front lawn. Again, I must remind you that I am not a professional photographer, so go easy on the comments. If you happen to like any the pics, let me know and I can send over the full sized version.

Continue reading "Flower Power" »

Posted by Josh at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's about time I got the Pesach recap in order. Just a quick head's up on the bandwith that there is lots of pictorial goodness below and I'm splitting up some of the pics to ease up on the load times.

Enjoy!

Continue reading "Post-Pesach Post " »

Posted by Josh at 10:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Shalom Uvracha Meha'aretz! Things are good over here and thankfully there haven't been any major incidents. Just a few things worthy of bullet points:

• Security going to Israel went by much quicker than I thought it would. Perhaps this is an Iberia Airlines thing. We'll see about going back.
• The airport in Madrid is stunning with its mountain views, but is far too large and inefficiently built.
• I sat across the isle from someone I dated and had absolutely no recollection of her. None. Complete black out. Normally I can remember at least one quirk or minimally a name or I could remember actively repressing a memory. Totally blanked on this one. I'm either getting too old or I've dated too many people. Possibly both. Thankfully I blamed lack of sleep
• Walk The Line was a decent but thoroughly overrated movie (as was Reese Witherspoon's performance)
• Despite the changing planes in Madrid, Iberia did not lose the luggage. Yes, this deserves a bullet point
• I need to start a new series here called You Make the Pesak for all those times where you need to make a halakhic decision on the spur of the moment. More on the impetusfor this when I get back.
• Ben Gurion's new airport is nice and all, but frankly I do miss holding on for dear life as bus traverses the tarmac. It was part of the charm
• Israeli Moment 1: Despite the new and improveness of Ben Gurion, the luggage conveyer belt broke. Rather, the belt which goes around in that big oval broke. The belt which drops the luggage on the larger one was working fine, as evidenced by the major backup and avalanche of luggage onto hapless passangers. Of course the best way to solve this problem was not to fix the larger belt or even to switch to a different one, but to mill about and send more bags on top of each other. Gotta love Israel.
• Amazingly, the Orange Big Talk phone I bought when I was in Gruss, *still* works (though they added a random 4 to the number), had 75 shekel left on it from the last time my parents were there, and the phone book was still intact including several people I dated when I was in Gruss (most of them married - one just got engaged last week). On the down side, it now has a battery life of roughly 7 minutes.
• I really miss talking to Haham Faur.
• Raising kids is easy - just give them food and make sure they don't kill themselves. It's raising *good* kids that's difficult, but a whole lot more worthwhile.

I'm planning on being in Alon Shevut for Shabbat and yes I'll send generic regards to random strangers. In the meantime, Hag Kasher V'Sameach again, and enjoy your sedarim!

Heh. Sedarim.

Posted by Josh at 6:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

After a long protracted search I'm finally back iin Washington Heights and pretty much set in the new apartment give or take a few things.¹ In honor of this auspicious occasion, I'd say the following is in order:

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've hot him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

1. And just in time to head out to Israel for Pesach

Posted by Josh at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

To answer the question that's been on everyone's mind, I did not get hammered at Sunday's Chag Hasemikha (although I probably could have were I keeping score). For the most part, everything went off as expected between the camaraderie, mixed emotions, and a really long ceremony.

For more of a play-by-play of the Chag Hasemikha, see Avraham's comprehensive write-up of the details. Sadly, I wasn't taking notes during the day so my recollections will be a bit fuzzier and stream-of-consciousnessy, but you're free to check out the upcoming re-webcast.

The preliminary meet and greet turned into several mini-reunions from different chevras of shiur, Revel, Gruss, or the denizens of the 5th floor. Not surprisingly, the snark was fast and furious. The best line of the day goes to Rabbi Ben Skydel's heter allowing the black-hatters to remove their haberdashery for the group photo on the grounds of sha'at ha-shemad. Nicely done.

But while there are many more humorously snide comments I could add - I even got in a whole slew of - IY'H By You's - I believe I've already fulfilled my quota for sarcasm. Also to be truthful, the Chag Hasemikha is indeed a significant event, and perhaps the closest YU comes to having its own "State of the Yeshiva." I don't have the time now to get into the details, so I just share some personal reflections.

As expected, the speeches and presentations covered all the themes you'd expect from a YU Chag Hasemihka: the contributions of YU, the legacy of R. Soloveitchik, and of course the importance and challenges of being a Rabbi. R. Charlop's honor was well deserved, and I'm still bewildered at the Marcos Katz receiving the "Etz Chaim" award. Yes he deserves recognition for his generosity and support, but the name of the award is ironic to say the least.

R. Lamm probably got too much flack for rambling (which in fairness, he did), but his message was probably the most important for future Rabbis. Short version: when things go badly, suck it up and move on because you're really working for God. Granted he was more eloquent, but the point is well taken. Too many rabbis get caught up in the personal egotistical aspects of their job that they forget their mission and as such are more likely to get disheartened by setbacks.

On the other hand, there are several Rabbis out in the field doing excellent work - and YU showed a video to this effect, featuring Rabbis in the pulpit, education, chaplaincy, and outreach. I knew two of the featured Rabbis personally - one from Gush and one from R. Ben-Haim's shiur - and both of whom are excellent people and well suited to their current positions.

On a personal level, the speeches, presentations, and socializations, all reminded me of how almost-but-not-quite fit in the YU model. By now it should be obvious to recurring readers that my hashkafa isn't typical YU. Nor should it be surprising that my style is drastically different than most other Rabbis. But what I've been more aware of recently are the professional differences between myself and my colleagues. Many pursued careers in the Rabbinate, education, or academics with varying degrees of success. And as noted repeatedly during the ceremony, most of the musmakhim got married at some point and quite a few have already started having families.

Like most people at reunions, I started thinking about how things in my life have turned out in the three years since I finished semikha. And like my time spent in YU, I was once again made perfectly aware of how I'm hardly a typical model of, well, anything.

Not that this necessarily a bad thing, but the constant reinforcement of "outsider" status can be grating eventually. Case in point: Richard Joel said that it is impossible to get through semikha without the support of our spouses, which made me question if in fact I did somehow manage or if my mystery spouse was working behind the scenes in some what doctoring my Contemporary Halakha exams.

The thing is that even during my RIETS tenure I didn't exactly follow the crowd either. R. Katz's (AH'S) shiur wasn't a popular choice, and despite the random acts of shehita, neither was R. Ben-Haim's. I was one of three or four Talmud majors in Revel, though now it's apparently "cool" again. Outside of YU, I participated in Meorot and Clal and held a computer job on the side. Maybe I shared individual experiences with a few people, but as you could expect, there was very little overlap between the different experiences.

As someone told my father during one of the receptions, my reputation is that I follow my own beat, but I'm serious. An accurate description, but I also must say that the Chag also reminded me that there are a few other intruments who do join in periodically. All those people from the different chevras went their own ways as well, and it just so happened that our paths converged every so often. I've often noted that althought YU will never admit it, it is the most religiously diverse and I daresay pluralistic Jewish institution such that it was possible for such various chevras to even exist.

In bringing back everyone under one roof, the Chag reminded me of the opportunities which are out there, as well as what is actually possible to accomplish. I'd say that's four hours well spent.

Posted by Josh at 1:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I briefly mentioned, this past Sunday I officiated my first wedding. I can't really say "performed" since the mesader kiddushin usually doesn't do all that much in the ceremony itself. I wasn't asked to speak under the huppah which was fine by me and of course, the rest of the guests. For obvious reasons, there isn't much I'd feel comfortable telling an about-to-be-married couple since, not being married, I'm hardly an expert on how two people should live together.

As far as I can tell the wedding went off without a hitch. Or rather, it went off with one major hitch, but we were all very happy about it. I did made a few rookie mistakes, which though understandable considering my inexperience with weddings, is still very annoying. Then again, such is the point of shimush. I must say though that both families were extremely helpful in treating the wedding primarily as a simcha and instead of stressing the details, were just able to appreciate and enjoy the wedding. From my end, this meant being able to function significantly more calmly and minimize mistakes caused by performance anxiety.

Of notable quirks, The Excelsior had a player piano in the lobby which was apparently set to "Simon and Garfunkel." As such, I can now add "Mrs. Robinson" to the list of most inappropriate songs I've heard at a wedding.¹ There was also a contingent of random Lakewood people who showed up and not only provided a healthy dose of leibedik, but also some of the most bizarre shtick I've seen. Neshomo Orchestra was good as always, and major props to the bassist for playing a Carvin.

At any rate, as much of an honor it was to be asked to officiate a wedding, there's something special when you just know the couple is right for each other. Truthfully, there wasn't much I could tell them about marriage since both of them really "get it" already and compliment each other so well that even were I married with years of experience, I doubt I could give any insightful advice they couldn't figure out on their own.

Mazal Tov!

1. Although the hatan did point out that 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover would have been significantly worse.

Posted by Josh at 4:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Happy Shushan Purim to All!

All is well in YUTOPIA, some quick updates:

• In a nice case of v'nahafoch hu, I recovered the previously lost comments
• Moving back to the heights soonish, likely spawning many interesting happenings.
• Had se'udah at future apartment with a bunch of YCT folk.
• Digital camera came in today
• Withheld a Purim posting because in the process of writing it, I realized I lost my sense of humor. Note that this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I have standards to uphold.
• Sunday I will be officiating my first wedding. More on this at some point.

As some of you may or may not know one of my first cousins is Deena Grant, married to Chaim Davis with whom I attended Gush so many years ago. Anyway, last week Deena gave birth to a really cute baby boy. At the bris this morning, the baby was named Akiva Eliezer, which as Chaim explained is partially after the baby's 10th generation ancestor (on the father's side), R. Akiva Eiger.

Sounds nice, but I'm personally schepping the irony. As Chaim noted, R. Eiger was known for his staunch opposition to all things haskalah. Deena, on the other hand, is a PhD student in Bible at NYU (hamaskil hameivin yavin).

No word yet on seismic activity in Bratislava, but I'll keep you posted.

Posted by Josh at 12:35 PM | Permalink

It's 3:00 A.M. and I want to go to be-eh-ed...

Ok not exactly, but it took some time to recover from the weekend's festivities (Monday wasn't terribly restful either, but that's another story). It's really amazing what getting out and hanging with lots of good old friends can do for one's disposition. The short summary is that everything was energizing, entertaining, and even enlightening at times.

The long version is, well, longer.

Continue reading "Weekend Wrapup" »

Posted by Josh at 3:11 PM | Permalink

For all those interested I'll be celebrating Groundhog's Day a little early this year and finally leaving the hermitage for some much needed human interaction. Among the highlights:

• I'll be in Washington Heights this Shabbat, and giving the derasha at the Bridge Shul. Or at least I should be unless someone messed up confirming it.
• Mozaei shabbat concert at MSG featuring O.A.R with opening act Matisyahu
• A Sunday jaunt up to Boston for Miriam and Oren's wedding.

I'll try to recap If I'm conscious on Monday, but if you're around any of these things please stop on over for a shmooze.

Posted by Josh at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Ever since I returned from Chicago I've been trying to move back to New York. Until now I've been staying in Springfield, which has had it's advantages, but it's really not a long term solution. However, I've been finding that moving back to NY after a few years isn't as simple as it used to be.

The first obstacles were short term logistical ones. I needed to wait until the job came through and I had an income. Then I was sent out to Seattle and came back just in time to get hit with the hagim.

Most of my time and energy since then has been directed to fighting the old adage that "you can't go home again."

Unfortunately, the adage has been winning handily.

Continue reading "Can't Find My Way Home" »

Posted by Josh at 1:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Contin